Grief Counseling

Are You Finding It Difficult To Navigate Life After Loss? 

Do you feel overwhelmed as a result of a recent death or loss? Have intense and conflicting emotions caused you to feel confused or unsure about how to move forward? Is it difficult to relate to others in the midst of your grief? 

Maybe your experience of grief and loss is different than what you expected. It could be that your emotions change frequently, shifting between profound sadness, anger, guilt and disbelief. If this is the case, you’re probably having trouble understanding and sorting out your experience. 

It may be that the loss you’ve endured has disrupted your daily routine. Perhaps symptoms such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite, chronic pain and nausea have left you feeling physically uncomfortable. It could also be that you’re having trouble thinking straight or remembering things, as grief often jeopardizes cognitive function. 

You may also be struggling in your relationships as you begin the journey of processing your loss. Maybe you feel a need to withdraw or isolate yourself from others, or perhaps you’re afraid to appear vulnerable and share your sadness with those around you. It’s likely that your loss is so very personal that you feel lonely despite being surrounded by others who want to offer support. 

Grief is both emotionally and physically painful, and it may seem like a lingering feeling of emptiness has replaced your sense of fulfillment and joy. And though you likely understand that healing takes time, it’s not something you have to do alone. Grief counseling can provide you with a safe and supportive space to process your loss. 

Grief Is A Deeply Human And Personal Experience

No one gets through life unscathed or untouched by grief; loss is, unfortunately, an inevitable aspect of being human. When something is taken from us—whether it’s a loved one, a pet, a job, a pregnancy, an aspect of our health or a long-held dream—it’s natural to have an emotional response. And the loss of one thing can often compound and complicate the loss of something else further down the line. 

Yet, our culture tends to have inadequate responses to grief. Not only do we unilaterally relegate grief to death—as opposed to the many forms of loss that exist—but we also don’t create many spaces or opportunities that support the heavy and long-standing effects of grief. This is evidenced by a cultural lack of awareness concerning the impacts of loss and the fact that bereavement periods in the workplace typically only allow for three days, hardly accounting for the time that is necessary to process. 

Moreover, there remain many falsehoods and myths about grief. We’re often confronted with the idea that there is an expiration on our grief (usually no more than a year following the death of a loved one) or that, if we experience some form of loss, it’s our job to put on a happy face and just keep on trucking. In reality, however, when grief is left unresolved, it can fester and create long-term issues of anxiety, depression and/or substance abuse. 

Alternatively, we may also trick ourselves into believing that if we begin the process of moving on with our lives, we’re somehow forgetting or dishonoring the loss that we’ve endured. Feelings of shame prevent us from crying or sharing with and leaning on others out of a fear that we’ll burden those around us when opening up about something so deeply personal as our grief. 

The truth is there is no way to avoid or outsmart the many feelings that accompany a profound loss. However, in counseling, you can begin the process of understanding that, while you may never find complete closure in your grief, you can get better at managing the emotions involved. 

Grief Counseling Offers You Personalized Strategies For Coping With Loss

To heal from your loss, it will be essential to acknowledge your grief rather than attempt to avoid or bury your pain. Therapy allows you to begin the process of verbalizing your experience and serves to demonstrate that the many and far-ranging emotions you feel are completely normal. In addition, grief counseling can help you let go of any guilt or blame you may feel regarding your loss. 

As a therapist, I understand that your experience of grief is entirely personal and unique to you. Because of this, I do not approach grief counseling with any preconceived notions. Instead, I hold space for you to explore whatever it is you’re feeling right now, tailoring the therapeutic experience to meet your needs. 

Once I get a sense of where you are in your journey, we will likely begin to explore other areas of your life that provide insight into the impact of your loss and potential avenues for healing. We may examine past traumas or losses and their role in your current experience of grief. We will also collaborate on potential self-care techniques, spiritual practices and daily rituals that can be sources of comfort. Our central goal throughout the process of grief counseling will be to work toward helping you build a peaceful relationship with what has been lost. 

I draw from many therapeutic approaches, but I find Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy particularly useful for grief counseling, as this approach centers around building a compassionate relationship with the many parts of yourself. In addition, emotionally-focused and body-based techniques, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), are helpful for identifying thoughts, feelings and sensations. And mindfulness will always be key during therapeutic treatment as you gain a deeper awareness of your emotional experiences. 

Though it may not seem like it now, grief is a valuable opportunity to learn about yourself and create positive change. And grief counseling is in and of itself an opportunity to create more love and compassion for yourself at a time when you need it most. Loss can be an isolating experience, but with help and support, you don’t need to be alone in navigating it. 

Perhaps you’re considering therapy for your grief, but you have some reservations, such as…

I don’t need to see a grief counselor—I just need time. 

Healing most certainly requires time. However, it’s not guaranteed that you can heal in a healthy way just on your own. Think about it this way: if you broke your leg, your body would probably heal itself over time. With the help of a professional, however, you would develop a better understanding of how to heal in a quicker, healthier way than if you were to do it without any guidance. 

It’s also important to consider that unresolved grief snowballs and becomes complicated over time. While this loss may feel manageable on its own now, future losses down the line will likely build on and exacerbate any feelings that have been left unresolved. Counseling can prepare you for not just your current grief but the future losses that you’ll inevitably experience throughout life. 

I’m worried that talking about my grief will just make me feel worse. 

I find that in therapy, the opposite happens. And I also know from a long career in counseling that you cannot heal what is not spoken. When you are given the opportunity to discuss your loss in a safe, nonjudgmental place, you can find relief from painful and uncomfortable feelings. We won’t sit and dwell in the sorrow, but instead, we will work together to understand it. And during that process, you are likely to build more compassion for and awareness of yourself. 

How long does grief counseling take?

The length of time spent in therapy will depend on a wide variety of factors, including past losses, co-occurring issues (such as anxiety, depression or unresolved trauma, for instance) and your commitment to the process. The more strength you can build in facing your loss, the quicker you will find peace and healing—and speaking with a professional can help you develop the skills for coping. Your grief isn’t something that will simply fade away, so taking the time to face and sit with it will be an essential key to finding relief.

Let Me Help You Find Peace After Loss 

If you’ve been devastated by a loss, grief counseling gives you a safe space to explore, understand and heal from your experience. To schedule a free, 15-minute consultation to learn more about how I can help, contact me via my site or call (480) 427-3553.